Secrecy
by JoJo1
Summary: Rogue's been acting strange and Kitty's out to help her if she can.
1. Default Chapter

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Kitty Pryde was a woman on a mission. A friend of hers was hurting and God  
damnit if she was going to let that continue. The only thing putting a damper on  
that was that she had no idea what made Rogue so down. Only thing she knew was that Rogue  
hadn't been herself the last couple of weeks. Moping when her temper didn't get the  
best of her not to mention that she more often than not had decided that the rest of the  
mansion's inhabitants shouldn't see her more often than necessary. Which meant not at  
all if she could help it. Granted, she had always been something of a loner so the last thing  
wasn't perhaps a surprise.  
  
All in all though, she was no longer the girl everyone loved and cherished.  
No-one else seemed to sense that something was amiss which pissed Kitty off. With two  
telepaths in the house and a bunch of friends that cared for her deeply, you'd think that  
when someone's not their usual perky good-natured and friendly self they'd notice. But no. That  
seems to be too much to ask for. But what could she do? Jubes was out of town (and quite  
frankly, she didn't think Jubes would have been of any help at this time. Way too self-centered at the  
moment with that new boyfriend of hers), Bobby and John claiming nothing's wrong and the resident  
telepaths refusing to enter anyone's mind without their consent. The last thing was usually a good thing but now  
it prevented them from helping a friend. Damn the ethics of telepaths!  
  
That leaves it up to her. Or Logan. But Logan's up in Canada somewhere looking for clues for his  
mysterious past. Yet again. Which once again leaves Kitty stuck without knowing what to do.  
  
Then again…might it have something to do with Logan? Thinking about it, she  
decides that that does not seem likely. Dr Grey and Mr Summers does not approve of their relationship  
but who are they to approve or disapprove of that, really? Rogue and Logan had officially been a couple for  
the last couple of years now and Kitty knows the two of them really do love each other. In fact, they got  
engaged a month ago and are soon to be married. So no, Logan is not the problem. But something is. And she'd  
be damned if she does not find out what and can help one of her dearest friends in her hour of need! But how?  
  
Taking the bull by the horn perhaps? What's the worst she can do, Kitty  
wonders? "Kick me out of her room? Perhaps something else but it doesn't matter. I have to do something." Kitty  
even surprises herself with that resolution. She's usually the shy type, not the confrontational one. Oh  
well. When the going get tough…it's surprising what you can do when you feel you have to.  
  
"Rogue?"  
"Leave me alone, Kitty."  
Kitty ignores that completely and enters the room anyway. "No, Roguey. I won't. Not until I know what's eatin' you."  
"Nothin'."  
"You know, you're a terrible liar. Something's bothering you, that's obvious."  
"So what if it is?"  
"You're my friend. That's all there is to it. When you're hurting, I'm hurting. I won't leave until I at least can try to help you."  
"You can't. No one can. And I don't wanna talk about it."  
"Too bad. Because you're going to, like it or not. And I'm sure it would do you good."  
"You're a persistent little bugger, aren't ya?"  
"When I need to be. So?"  
"It's too embarrassing."  
"Can't be more embarrassing then when you accidently pushed me through the wall into the bedroom of Jean and Scott while they were making love can it?"  
Rogue almost burst out laughing at that before catching herself. "Well, embarrassing in a different way."  
"I'm waiting."  
"Oh, hell. If it makes you leave me alone…Oh, Kitty. I've been so bloody stupid. I can't believe I did it."  
"Did what?"  
  
And Rogue begins her tale. 


	2. Chapter 2

"I really don't know where to begin." Rogue begins hesitantly.  
"What about from the beginning?"  
Rogue gave Kitty a poisonous glare before continuing.  
"I guess it began a couple of months ago. Logan had been gone for two weeks  
and I hadn't heard much from or about him save a phonecall or two. It was getting on my nerves,  
you know, being here without knowing how he was doing or when he was coming home. I  
was ready to quite literally climb the walls. So of course I jumped at the opportunity when Xavier said  
he had a mission for me."  
"The one abroad?"  
"That's the one. A chance to do something else for a while. And to get my  
mind of whatever Logan was doing in his search. Probably something violent. Anyway, I went  
away on that mission. An undercover mission as teacher in a small German city. English  
teacher for the American children living there. The mission was successful in the end but it  
took some time to get there. Too much time."  
"How so?"  
"Well, the days went on easily enough. Between teaching my students and  
being on the lookout for the mutant I was there to find, the day just flew by you know?  
Before you knew what hit you, it was evening and time to go home. Which I came to dread more  
and more. Here, I could always talk to you, Jubes, Remy or whoever. There I was all  
alone. My students where just kids at around 10 years old so I couldn't really talk to them.  
Most of the other teachers had families they were home with so they were also out of the  
question. It also didn't feel right to try to make some friends there, since I didn't know for how  
long I'd be there. Then there was the problem of language. All in all, I hadn't felt that alone  
since I first ran away from home."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Yeah, me too. I couldn't even watch TV in the evenings since all programs  
were in German. Even the American movies. Don't laugh!"  
"I'm not."  
"Oh, well. I lived like that for about a week, then I couldn't stand it  
anymore. I had to do something before I made something stupid, like bolting home. So I did  
something equally stupid. I went out to this bar."  
"What's stupid about that?"  
"It's damn stupid when you get yourself drunk enough to let yourself be picked up by some  
guy you don't even know."  
"Don't tell me you slept with him."  
  
Rogue almost breaks down at that, sobs uncontrollably. "I did. Every night  
until I flew back home here."  
  
"And now you're worried Logan will find out?"  
"Yeah, that's part of it. I can't believe I was stupid and alone enough to cheat on him. I really do love that big lug."  
"Part of it?"  
"Yeah. Because I will have to tell him, even if I'm not looking forward to it."  
"Have to? I know it's not good to keep secrets from your fiancée but why do you have to?"  
"Oh, I would keep it a secret if I could. Until I found a way of breaking it to him easily at  
least. But there's no way this can be kept a secret. I almost broke down and told him when he called today, to tell me   
that he's home soon. He said he'll be home this week."  
"You didn't get pregnant did you?"  
"No, but another little surprise."  
"What?"  
"I found out yesterday. A nasty little thing called chlamydia."  
"Shit, shit, shit!"  
"My sentiments exactly. You're the only apart from me and the doctor that knows and I like to keep it that way."  
"Sure, my lips are sealed. The doctor? Not Jean?"  
"No. She was away so I went to a doctor in town when I felt something was wrong. I'm now on an antibiotics cure for at least   
another two weeks and a standing order to refrain from sex during that time. Logan's home in a couple of days. Now, how do you suggest  
I tell him I not only cheated on him but was careless enough to get sick because of it?" 


	3. Chapter 3

Three days later  
  
"You know, Rogue. You can't avoid Logan for the rest of eternity. He must know by now that something's up."  
"I know" Rogue whimpered. "I just don't know how to do this. Not only am I a weak, weak woman. I'm a coward too."  
"Nonsense. Everyone can make mistakes. Even Logan."  
"Maybe, but he's soo gonna kill me for this."  
"Now you're just being ridiculous. He won't kill you. Maybe give you a spanking but that's as violent he gets when you're concerned. He loves you, you know."  
  
Rogue smiles weakly. A smile that's not as genuine as she would have liked it to be.  
  
"If I only had your confidence in that. He's never gonna forgive me, not in a million years, no matter how much he loves me."  
"And he will forgive you easier if you hide in my room? Go talk to him. It's not going to get easier with time."  
"I guess you're right. I don't want to though."  
"But you're going to?"  
"Yeah." Rogue says, stands up on unsteady legs before making herself go back to her and Logan's room. "I can do this" she says unconvincingly to herself before  
opening the door. Logan's lying on the bed, seemingly taking a nap. "I can do this".  
"You can do what?"  
"Oh, did I say that out aloud?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well, okay. Logan, we need to talk."  
"Figured as much since you've been avoiding me since I got home. So, what's the deal?"  
"I don't know how to say it…I, I"  
"Marie?"  
"Let me take my time okay? This isn't easy."  
"Okay. I can do that."  
"Thanks." Marie takes some deep breaths and thinks "Okay, here goes nothing."  
"I'll make this as short and to the point as I can okay? Two weeks after you had left I was going on a mission and"  
"You didn't get hurt did you? Because if you did I swear I gut Chuck, One-eye or who the hell was responsible"  
"No, Logan. I wasn't hurt. Not by a super-villain or a angry mob or anything like that."  
"What then? Something happened."  
"Yes. You see, I was stupid one night and went out to a bar. No easy way of saying this but I, I" She stops, trying her best to not to cry or break down or  
having her voice crack. "I got too drunk and ended up sleeping with this guy."  
"What??? You can't be serious?"  
"I am. I am so sorry."  
"Yeah, you should be. Who is he?"  
"I don't know. All I know is his first name. William something."  
"How, how. " Logan can't continue for a while. "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me. And with a guy you didn't even know?"  
"I do, I really do."  
"Then why did you do this?"  
"I don't know!" she practically yells. "I was feeling sorry for myself I guess. Too drunk. Too everything. But that's not all.". She sobs uncontrollably.  
"What could there possibly be more to say?"  
"Well, we didn't…we didn't practice safe sex and he hadn't for some time. Turns out he had chlamydia."  
"And you caught it, is that it?"  
"Yeah."  
"Tell me something Marie. Honestly. Would you have told me this if you hadn't been that careless?"  
"Of course! How can you even ask such a question?"  
"Because before this, I wouldn't have even dreamt of you cheating on me. Or anyone if I hadn't been the one you're engaged to." he says before standing up, starting to leave.  
"Logan? Where are you going?"  
"Out of here before I do something I know I will regret."  
"Please Logan, please forgive me."  
"I don't know if I can." he says, before leaving the room and slamming the door shut behind him. 


	4. Chapter 4

Three days later  
  
Marie was frantic, pacing her and Logan's room. Logan had not been seen by  
anyone since he had stormed out three days prior. A clear sign that he was hurting,  
hurting bad. "And it's all my fault" she thought bitterly to herself. Sure, their   
relationship as any others had had its ups and its downs during the years but nothing   
that compared to this. "A moment of weakness and I let everything I've ever wanted to   
crash down on me. I'm losing on the swings and I'm losing on the roundabouts. Wherever   
I look, I'm losing. Everything that ever mattered" she thinks while trying to get some sleep.   
All in vain. Sleep refuses to comfort her, it even refuses to let itself be known. She   
glances over to the clock standing on the bedside table every five minutes, refusing to believe   
time could pass so slowly. Sleep finally comes though – the same way it had the last couple of   
nights. When she was too exhausted to cry anymore.  
  
When Kitty saw the look of Rogue the morning after she was ready to quite  
literally kill Logan. True, it was Rogue's fault that she was in this mess  
but that didn't stop Kitty from thinking Logan could have handled it a lot better. Maybe  
naïve or wishful thinking on her part but that was how it is. "And it's not like  
Logan's the posterchild of being faithful either" she thought, without really having a  
reason to think so. And she was too honest to herself to not admit that. Since the two of  
them had become a couple, Logan seemed to have gotten over his need to find a new  
bedmate at least once a week. But now? Who knows? Kitty was one determined woman  
though. She refused to let them wreak their relationship because of one stupid  
mistake. So, if Rogue wouldn't or couldn't do something, it's up to her. "Even if it's  
really not my business" she thought before setting off to find Logan. She had a pretty  
good idea where he could be found. Probably out in the woods somewhere. He's always  
had a soft spot for nature and more so when he felt he had to be alone for some  
time.  
  
An hour or so later, she had spotted him and approached him cautiously.  
  
"Logan?"  
"What? Oh, it's you. What do you want?"  
"See how you're doing. And ask what you plan to do about this whole mess."  
"You know, huh? But since when do you care about me?"  
"That's a low blow Logan, and you know it. You're my friend and so is Rogue. And yeah, I do know.   
Rogue can't hide anything from me even if she tried."  
"Sorry Kitty. I know you care but I really don't know what to do. I still can't believe she'd do   
something like that to me."  
"That makes two of us. But look, she's been punishing herself over this enough. She really regrets what she did."  
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"  
"I had hoped so. You do love her, don't you?"  
"Yeah. And that's why it hurts so much."  
"I understand Logan, I really do. But have you never made a mistake that you've wished you could take back?"  
"Sure, everyone has. But that's just wishful thinking."  
"It is but be careful. If you throw away what you have with Rogue now, you might look back on it with another   
wishful thought some time from now. And have you considered that you might have a part in this mess too?"  
"What? Now you've lost me."  
"If you weren't so damn stubborn of finding your past and leaving for months at a time, none of this might have happened.   
How do you think Rogue feels when you're not around? What's most important, your past or your future?"  
  
With that Kitty leaves, hoping she has made Logan at least to think things  
over without his male pride getting in the way.  
  
Logan looks after her as she leaves, completely stunned. Kitty had some good  
points he had to admit to himself even if it hurt. "Damn, am I stupid or what?" he  
thought. He still couldn't bring himself to go back to the mansion. Not yet.  
  
Meanwhile Rogue had headed for the city. She still felt miserable but figured she had to do something to take her minds of it   
if she didn't want to break down completely. A good afternoon going from shop to shop, basically overdrawing her credit card  
could always do that. She had to laugh a little at that. That was something about her that Logan never had understood. Why she had   
that insatiable need to shop every now and then. Something no man can really understand she was thinking. Bobby, Remy or John never did  
either.  
  
When she got back to her room, totally overloaded with bags from uncountable number of shops, she got totally taken by surprise. Logan   
was sitting on their bed.  
  
"Hey Marie" he said, "I've been waiting for you. Another shopping spree eh?"  
"You know me. That's what I do best."  
"Let me help you with that."  
"Eh, Logan. It's not that I don't appreciate the help. I do but last time I saw you you were ready to quite literally explode of anger."  
"I was. But I've had some time to cool down now. I'm ready to give this another shot if you are."  
"Logan, I don't deserve that."  
"You do. You're too important to me that I should let that little mistake get in our way."  
"*sniff* You do know how to say the sweetest things when I least expect them. But somehow it doesn't sound like you."  
"Ah well, it's me. But I admit that Kitty helped me see what really matters. She's a really good friend to ya."  
"So you really forgive me?"  
"Yeah. I do. I know this may not be what you wanna hear, but I don't think I will ever be able to forget but I forgive it. And maybe it's good   
that I won't forget. Makes us realize how easy it is to slip. Are you ready to give this geek one more shot?"  
"Do you have to ask" she says while hugging him so hard it would have chokedhim if it wasn't for his adamantium skeleton. 


End file.
